Last year at this time, I lost my mom. We used to talk everyday. It’s so strange to not be able to tell her about the things that are happening. I sense she knows, but still, I miss her voice. There is no more “ Remember when..”. It’s strange how when a loved one dies your context for your experiences together goes too. There is no other side of the story. Only your own.
We would talk about everything. She always cheered me on, wanting to see me write and grow my coaching business. When she was in the hospital, the nurses would come in and chat with me, and my mom would lay there with her eyes closed with a smile on her face. Occasionally she would speak the words, “She’s a life coach”. My kids often laughed because everything they ever did she said was the greatest thing that ever happened. They didn’t always agree with her assessment, but she was always faithful to say it. She was a great encourager.
In 2020, she was housebound in Florida and I was several states away. We began our daily talks. In the years that followed, she became to me a wise sage and a cherished friend. We no longer shared the highlights of life, but also the messy, the mundane, and the real about our lives. I learned the value of living intentionally and not letting time pass. What a gift. Often, we would end our conversations by singing a song together. Then we would laugh. It was a specific song from The Carol Burnet Show in the seventies. It went like this… “I’m so glad we had this time together. Just to have a laugh or sing a song. It seems you just get started and before you know it, comes the time you have to say so long.”
I think about her everyday and sometimes sing her our song. I’m so glad we had our time together…
My mom at 88 years young.
This is my birthday week. Aging may have it’s challenges, but is full of great gifts. Most importantly, I am aware of the timeline. No one knows how many days they have left, but I surely have more years behind me than I do ahead. Despite that, I believe I can live more fully in the coming years than ever before and I’m devoted to it. The Grand Finale!
Things have become more finite and it makes me very aware of my choices and how I want to spend my time. I am much more intentional. We don’t realize when we are young how quickly life passes. We often get so focused on the problems and pressures of life and miss the substance of it. I’m savoring the substance and not worrying too much about the rest these days. Everything works out eventually.
A few years back, I had an awakening of sorts. I had a health scare that, thankfully, turned out to be nothing. But during that time, I lay awake at night wondering what I would do if I found out I had a year to live. My answer? I would let go of a lot that I was doing and devote myself to a year full of meaning and travel. I would spend time with loved ones. I would try to pass along all that I had learned. I would try to make a difference in as many ways as I could in as many lives as I could. I would write a book. I would travel. I would never worry or complain, but be grateful for the gift of every day.
I have devoted myself to a life like that. It’s amazing how it guides my choices. I wish we could figure that out earlier, but we rarely do. We have to live our way into what really matters.
I hope that despite the inevitable obstacles in life, that you can see past all the distractions and find joy and meaning in each day. Go live your big beautiful life no matter what. I’ll be there with you.
Much love,
Kim
“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”
Mary Oliver
This is beautiful! I loved your mom! She was precious! This is reminding me that a while back I would wake up and say, "This is the only January 5, 2024 (or whatever the date was that day) I'll ever have. What beautiful thing can I be a part of today?!" I need to resurrect that back into my life! Thanks Kim!
This is excellent. Thanks for sharing with such candor!